LA NIMIL BAR
Modeled in Maya and Zbrush
Textured with Substance Painter
Rendered with Marmoset Toolbag
Liminal Space - “A state or place characterized by being transitional or intermediate in some way”
This is what I was thinking about when I created this piece. It was when I was exposed to the idea of “liminal Space”. I started this right around the middle of 2020. AKA“LockDown 2020”. Covid just started in February and was spiraling out of control, the world was experiencing a “once in a generation” health crisis that really was not prepared for. People were dying by the hundreds per day.
At the time I was living in San Fransisco. The whole situation was surreal. Many businesses were shut down, people were adviced to stay indoors. The streets were empty. It was quite unreal. My job at the time was uncertain. So I started this project with all this in my mind.
So like the name itself, the project ended up kinda in limbo between 2020 to end of 2022. I went back to work on it here and there between those times. Towards the end of 2022, I found myself back in that liminal space and frame of mind. At first, it was just to see if I don’t reach out, will they reach out to me? So a day went by, then few days, then a week, and then a month.
Eventually I’ve come to terms that it seems like it did not matter if I was around or not. I wanted to reach out, wanted to ask. But as it comes to realization that they seem to be content of my absent, it does hurt. As I think back, how do I convince someone that views me as the villain of their story? No matter what I do, they see it as alterior motives. Eventually I have to accept that and move on. But even as I try to move on, everything becomes numb. Days and nights just blend together. Avoided pretty much all of social media and isolated myself. Staying at home staring at the walls. I was afraid that when I step outside I would only reminded of how it was and how it could’ve been. But even that could just be one sided and that nothing was real. So many times I wanted to reach out
“Hey, Happy Thanksgiving!”
“Hey, Merry Christmas!”
“Hey, it’s pretty cold lately. How you doing?”
“Hey, how you been?”
“Hey....”
But at the end I didn’t. Seems like that the solution is to take myself out of the equation. Since the other side is fine without me. Not one word.
So I found myself back to finish this project. Since it felt fitting that I am once again back to that liminal space, back to La Nimil. Back to that counter, waiting for that someone that would never come. Sipping on that tea for one.
Modeled in Maya and Zbrush
Textured with Substance Painter
Rendered with Marmoset Toolbag
Liminal Space - “A state or place characterized by being transitional or intermediate in some way”
This is what I was thinking about when I created this piece. It was when I was exposed to the idea of “liminal Space”. I started this right around the middle of 2020. AKA“LockDown 2020”. Covid just started in February and was spiraling out of control, the world was experiencing a “once in a generation” health crisis that really was not prepared for. People were dying by the hundreds per day.
At the time I was living in San Fransisco. The whole situation was surreal. Many businesses were shut down, people were adviced to stay indoors. The streets were empty. It was quite unreal. My job at the time was uncertain. So I started this project with all this in my mind.
So like the name itself, the project ended up kinda in limbo between 2020 to end of 2022. I went back to work on it here and there between those times. Towards the end of 2022, I found myself back in that liminal space and frame of mind. At first, it was just to see if I don’t reach out, will they reach out to me? So a day went by, then few days, then a week, and then a month.
Eventually I’ve come to terms that it seems like it did not matter if I was around or not. I wanted to reach out, wanted to ask. But as it comes to realization that they seem to be content of my absent, it does hurt. As I think back, how do I convince someone that views me as the villain of their story? No matter what I do, they see it as alterior motives. Eventually I have to accept that and move on. But even as I try to move on, everything becomes numb. Days and nights just blend together. Avoided pretty much all of social media and isolated myself. Staying at home staring at the walls. I was afraid that when I step outside I would only reminded of how it was and how it could’ve been. But even that could just be one sided and that nothing was real. So many times I wanted to reach out
“Hey, Happy Thanksgiving!”
“Hey, Merry Christmas!”
“Hey, it’s pretty cold lately. How you doing?”
“Hey, how you been?”
“Hey....”
But at the end I didn’t. Seems like that the solution is to take myself out of the equation. Since the other side is fine without me. Not one word.
So I found myself back to finish this project. Since it felt fitting that I am once again back to that liminal space, back to La Nimil. Back to that counter, waiting for that someone that would never come. Sipping on that tea for one.
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Contact: Tse_kawai@outlook.com